Thursday, July 19, 2018
What can I say about the man that , to me, had it all. He was " It" A, #1, numero uno, a hell of a guy, Richard Smith was a my father, we were two looney toons- if y'all only knew how true that became,, he was at times my only friend. this man held my pieces together as I did back with him, he was my rock, but most of all this guy that we speak of was my hero in every single way.
He held my hand, tucked me in, brushed my hair, and wiped away my tears.That never stopped. Boy was I lucky to have such a dad, The boogy man, well ,he was no match for my dad. In fact-Jason, Freddy, Cujo-you may have made me sleepwalk but you never had my back. My dad was strong in his mind[mostly], body, soul.I wouldn't suggest being on the torro side of that bull. 8 seconds is pushing the fates.
If you make it past first 8sec , enjoy the ride cause you've earned it, so don't lose it, and you're in forever .I f you missed that . It would be my dads meet and greet relationship test .The circle of trust. A montra if you will. Intimidation, fear, stability , trust, love. He did it every time and was open about it. Brutally honest.
He taught me how to talk, walk, sing, and play. God how I wish we could harmonize one more note together, Karaoke, even humming doesn't sound the same. I still hear your voice when a familiar song plays and pain wallows around the places that used to fill me with joy.. When I try to sing with you the notes fall short. Its just not the same. Playing with dad , when we were little was our favorite time of, well, anything. He would get down on the ground with us and wrestle. He was like an obstacle course himself. Always goofing around. Sure it slowed down as we all got older, Eventually my kids came around and generations stood mirrored with joy, cause my dad reverted back-as his body allowed-to non stop jubilee ,and he did this actively with both of my boys. No one could tell him to stop it, break his stride or even calm him down, When his grandkids were around it was his excuse to be a clown.
He taught me the ropes in life. Like what to watch out for, never stop learning, you're your biggest weakness, trust only the ones that can hurt you the most-and no I can't explain that to you all, to never give up no matter how much you feel like you've already given in-all you need is one. He reminded me that family always came first, stay humble, not to take things for granite, and to try to always be as kind as I can.[well he told me to never stop being me cause that is what people loved about me, but to stop letting myself get hurt along the way, and that that would be hard lessons learned just by living.]
Everyone can associate something to my dad. Like his many sayings. And all of his family, close friends, and extended children have heard these ones" I'm gonna beat you like a red headed step child.", "I want that so clean the Queen Mary herself would want to eat off of it." He always stuck to his favorite saying "I hate everybody equally!" LMAO! Anybody who is reading this can picture dad saying that , and can probably just as well think to yourself, he's gotta be the least hateful person you know.The biggest tip he ever gave me was "To never frie bacon naked." never f I don't think I will ever stop inheriting the life lessons my dad felt imperative to impress upon us kids in order to make it through the jungle of life. For his constant guidance I am gracious.
I see him, feel him, hear him. He's just not gone for me. Call me crazy for not being able to cry out in pain. The pain that I feel...hmmmm.......Something inside me parished when my daddy left this place .I can still feel his warm arm going across my shoulder, pulling me close and giving my shoulder a squeeze , but this feeling must feel like dying cause when its too painful I can't see your face, your voice isn't clear, your touch fades away. It's funny I can imagine the little things right down to the crackle your hand would make when you straightened your hand or got frustrated. The soft reminence of his hair remains on my fingertips where I feel it alwaysmaybe as a small breeze brings you my way.
I will look for you in the clouds gleefully and although my tears may fall cause I miss you I know they'll be repurposed and you'll keep coming back to me like sunshine and rain. You were one of the first persons I fell in love with. Now I know why You instantly fall so hard in love with your children. Its instinct. No bond is greater. Even now our bond isn't broken. Daddy I can't explain it. I will never stop talking to you. We loved our talks. It'll just be different now. LOL! You know what I mean dad.
Well excuse my RSVP that's postdated for dates unknown, but meanwhile burn rubber , do donuts, pave the way, make them smile up there as much as you did with us down here. We're all counting on you. I love you daddy as much today I did yesterday and even more tomorrow cause I was blessed to love you even one day.
Love your first born daughter,
Brandy Jean Smith-
Brandy Jean Burkett
(530) 206-0700 
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